Thursday, September 9, 2010

In my viens flow brown rapids of coffee . . .

Admittedly, I've been slacking on blogging. But for good reason. I think I kind of underestimated the whole 'taking 19 hours' thing. But then again I really had no option. My first week was as taxing as it could have possibly been. At the same time, however, it's a very different, awkward sort of feeling: having so many classes while knowing that this semester (as was confirmed today) doesn't count toward my honors ranking. So . . .

I'm officially graduating summa cum laud (specifically with a 3.99).

So that makes me happy.

What counters this very terribly is the fact that I'm getting almost no sleep whatsoever, and September seems to be flying by faster than I would ever like to acknowledge.

If there's anything I'm taking away from this first week and a half, it's that I absolutely abhor science departments and hold an equally strong disliking for accents in the Spanish language.

In my veins flow brown rapids of coffee, and I'm more than willing to admit that I probably wouldn't be able to afford such a non-stop, fast-paced semester if it wasn't for the caffeine flooding my system--today and everyday. One of the few things which has kept me sane are the random pizzabeermicrophilosophydinnerdates with Kindall.

I feel, paradoxically enough, that even though I have literally no free time whatsoever thus far, I'm also able (even if it's in the back of my mind, floating around amorphously) to think about the things which should have been given attention before. Specifically, where I belong religiously.

It's not the fact that I'm questioning my belief in God. What I am questioning is my method in approaching and worshiping him. For years now, I've felt spiritually inadequate in worship: something I know is wrong, something that deserves to be fixed. And while I'm not willing to spill my soul via the internet concerning a matter that's (arguably) of the greatest importance to me, just simply writing my decision to get serious about tackling the problem makes it all the more real and much less daunting.

Also, I still feel as if I'm 'headed in the right direction' -- whatever that means.

Last weekend was Labor Day weekend, and I wish I had the vocabulary to express how perfect the weather was: the best indicator, I think, of the approaching fall. I was able to spend some time with my family and eat (not fast) food. But I had to enjoy it between reading Salinger's '9 Stories' and my god-awful chemistry book.

Some resolutions I've come to:

1.) I will NOT study for chemistry more than a few minutes (I only need a D . . . let's be real now)

2.) I should have learned a method regarding Spanish accents before now

3.) I will be seeing Flyleaf with Kindall on 9/20 and I am beyond ecstatic!

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